


heart on hold

by conehead



Series: Clexaweek2019 [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa Week 2019, Day 3, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Only One Bed, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 19:31:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17945762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conehead/pseuds/conehead
Summary: Clarke and Lexa are coworkers competing for the same promotion. When a business deal that could make or break their careers requires them to share a hotel room, they have to put aside old feelings and try to survive the weekend with each other. The only problem? There’s only one bed.





	heart on hold

**Author's Note:**

> could also be considered for the enemies to lovers day (sort of)
> 
> thanks for reading xx

“God, I’m exhausted.” Clarke groans dragging her suitcase through the hall “I don’t even think I have the energy to take off my makeup.”

 

“That is extremely unhygienic” Lexa says inserting the card into the door.

 

“Yeah, well you’re-“ Clarke stops as soon as she’s through the doorway, blocking Lexa’s way. “Where’s the other bed?”

 

“What?”

 

“The other bed. Why is there only one? Why the hell did you book a room with only one bed? Is this some kind of ploy to throw me off?”

 

“No! I booked a double, there should be two beds!”

 

“You...” Clarke stops herself shaking her head and rolls her suitcase over to the desk, setting it on top and unzipping it to pull out her toiletries and pajamas all while muttering quietly to herself. She turns back to Lexa who is still staring at the lone bed in the room. “I’m going to change while you think about what you just said. Really think about where you went wrong.”

 

“I thought when it said double that meant two beds!”

 

“Obviously,” Clarke rolls her eyes, “that’s the problem, why would you think that! I’m pretty sure they specify how many beds there are!”

 

“Well sorry” Lexa sasses, “where I’m from we would call that a full and never would have had this ‘problem’.”  

 

“Or, _or_ you could just have the common sense to realize that’s stupid! Oh, or here’s a bright idea, ask someone.” Clarke says, punctuated by the slam of the bathroom door.

 

“There’s a nice couch you could sleep on”

 

“No way in hell” Clarke shouts through the door.

 

Lexa sighs, hanging up her suit for the next day and pulling out her own nightwear. Glancing at the bathroom, not knowing how long Clarke will take, Lexa decides to save time and change out here. She’s just wiping off her face when the door opens, Clarke walks out and over to her suitcase to deposit her clothes, not even sparing Lexa a glance.

 

“I’m sure there are other rooms available.”

 

“The company only allotted expenses for one room, which is partially why we’re in this mess in the first place,” Clarke huffs plopping herself down on the left side of the bed and sprawling out. “next time, I’m booking the room.”

 

“Yeah, well once I get the job there won’t be a reason for us to share a room.” Lexa says and Clarke instantly sits back up.

 

“You mean when I get it?”

 

Lexa sighs. “I’m far more qualified”

 

“We literally have the same credentials”

 

“I’ve worked here longer”

 

“By two weeks!”

 

“Two weeks longer to build a rapport with everyone”

 

“You’re impossible” Clarke crosses her arms

 

“You’re a child”

 

“I’m a child? You’re the one who-” Clarke closes her eyes, wanting nothing more than sleep and to not rehash old wounds and based on Lexa’s face, they’re on the same page for once that night. “Whatever, at least I know what double bed means” she mumbles and slides under the covers.

 

Lexa shakes her head and finishes her nightly routine in the bathroom. Lingering longer than necessary in hopes Clarke will be asleep, she exits the bathroom and walks over to her bag, grabbing her head phones and charger. She pauses next to the bed, truly wondering if Clarke has that big of an issue sharing with her. The couch is barely bigger than a love-seat and would surely screw up her back.

 

“Oh my god,” Clarke mutters “just get in the damn bed, Lexa.”

 

Lexa doesn’t give her time to change her mind, pulling down the covers and climbing into the unused side of the bed. She tries to leave as much room as possible, but there really isn’t any spare room to begin with, their arms are practically touching.

 

They lay there, the need for sleep long gone from their bodies as other feelings take the forefront. Feelings that have been buried too long without resolution. Lexa tries to let the calming music lull her to sleep, but her mind won’t stop racing. She can tell Clarke is still awake even if she tries to mask it by her slow even breaths. Lexa knows.

 

Clarke wants to roll her eyes at how stiff Lexa is next to her. It’s not _that_ big of a deal. They’re both adults and it’s not like they haven’t shared a bed before, well Lexa would probably deny it if anyone asked. Clarke can’t stop the eye roll at that thought. Whatever. She doesn’t care anymore. She’s trying not to at least.

 

“I can hear you thinking from here.” Lexa says

 

“That’s because you’re practically on top of me.”

 

“Clarke.” Lexa sighs and shifts over slightly toward the edge of the bed.

 

“What?”

 

“We have an early day tomorrow and need to be as fresh and prepared as possible, let’s be professional about this and-”

 

Clarke scoffs “You’re all about that professionalism, aren’t you?”

  

“Clarke.”

 

“I’m not stopping you from getting your beauty sleep Lexa, pretty sure you’re the one that started talking actually.”

 

“Okay.” Lexa gives up and rolls onto her side with her back to Clarke. It takes her another hour before she’s able to fall asleep.

\---

After a long day of meeting after meeting and meals filled with nothing but schmoozing, they’re finally back at their hotel room, mentally and physically exhausted. Clarke changes out of her work clothes first, tossing them haphazardly into her suitcase before grabbing her book out of the side pocket.

 

Lexa stops in the doorway of the bathroom when she sees Clarke on the couch, her pillow from the bed and the spare blanket from the closet accompany her.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“I’m gonna sleep here tonight.” Clarke says, patting the cushion underneath her. “We don’t have to be up early either, so it’ll be fine.”

 

Lexa narrows her eyes “You’d really rather sleep on a lumpy couch than share a perfectly good bed with me?” Clarke just gestures to her position as an answer. “Why?”  


Clarke sighs “You know why.”

 

“Clearly I don’t, I thought things were fine, everything has seemed fine up until last night.”

 

“For you maybe,” Clarke says still not looking at Lexa.

 

“What are you talking about? I thought we’ve moved past that.”

 

Clarke stands up to face Lexa, her book falling to the ground with a thud. “No, _you_ moved past it. _You’ve_ been fine. I went from thinking I was in a relationship, to being ignored, and then treated like your everyday joe schmoe while you acted like it was nothing, so no, I’m not past it. I’m not fine with it.” She says breathing hard. Her arm is raised slightly, and she realizes she prodded Lexa in the shoulder to accentuate each point. Clarke looks at Lexa’s wide eyed expression and shakes her head, she had resigned herself to thinking they were never going to talk about it – so much for that- but it seems like she’s the only one who would do the talking. With another sigh, she sits back down on the couch not even bothering to pick up her book.

 

It takes Lexa a few minutes before she moves from her spot in the middle of the room. Out of all the things she thought could happen this weekend, that was certainly not one of them. She never meant to hurt Clarke, she knew she would probably be upset with Lexa’s decision, but it was the most logical decision that would, in the long run, be the best for them and their careers. Or so she thought. Sure, she may have approached it the wrong way and yes, ignoring Clarke afterwards wasn’t very mature, but Lexa needed to get her out of her head and that was the only way she could think of that would do it.

 

“I didn’t mean- I’m sorry,” Lexa tries

 

“I’ve heard that before.” Clarke mutters, picking at the frayed end of the blanket.

 

“That was different and I’m sorry about that too. I’m sorry about everything, I went about it the wrong way and I hurt you.” Lexa says moving toward the couch, while leaving enough space between them.

 

“I think anyway you would have done it would’ve hurt.” Clarke admits quietly.

 

Lexa sighs and moves to sit on the floor at the other end of the couch. “You’re right.”  

 

“I still don’t understand why” Clarke says after a few moments of silence, bringing her knees up to her chest. “There aren’t any rules against dating coworkers, I’m pretty sure at least half of the office team is together in some capacity, but that was your reason. You didn’t want things to be complicated, but let me tell you, this-” she gestures between around the room “- feels a lot more complicated to me.”

 

“I honestly thought it would complicate things,” Lexa shrugs “I didn’t want us to start resenting each other if the other was getting more opportunities or worn out and we hadn’t been together that l-“ Lexa stops herself before she puts her foot further into her mouth.

 

Clarke takes a deep breath “So instead you had me resent you for breaking my heart and then I still had to see you every day anyway.”

 

“I guess so.” Lexa swallows hard, staring at her fingers

 

“I don’t know about you, but even if we weren’t ‘together long’” she says air quotes and all “although I kind of thought we were, it meant something to me and you made it seem like it didn’t- like _I_ didn’t mean anything to you.”

 

Lexa whips around and scrambles onto the cushion, she barely has enough restraint to stop herself from reaching out and touching Clarke. “That’s not true! You mean- what we had meant-” she can’t say everything even if that’s what she wants to say, that would definitely not sit well with Clarke when Lexa essentially chose a job over them, over her. “You did mean something to me Clarke and I’m sorry I made you feel otherwise.”

 

“Yeah, well.” Clarke let’s out a wet, self-deprecating laugh “You had a funny way of showing it.”

 

“If I could go back-“

 

“-don’t” Clarke cuts her off. “don’t try to come up with the best way let me down, you made a decision, I just have to…deal with it.”

 

“What if it wasn’t the right one?” Lexa asks quietly

 

Clarke looks at her and Lexa’s gaze doesn’t waver. “What do you mean?”

 

“What if I didn’t make the right decision? I’ve always made rash decisions in the name of rationality, but what if- what if this time I didn’t think it through? What if it was the wrong one?”

 

“The world will always be full of what ifs.”

 

“I’m serious, Clarke.”

 

“So am I _Lexa._ This is only happening because I brought it up, much to your dismay might I add, and I’m not going to go over the what ifs with you because they don’t matter. You hurt me and I’m not going to go through that again.”

 

“Right, okay.” Lexa sighs and stands up walking over to the bed, slipping under the covers and turning off the light. Her chest is tight, but who is she to complain when she’s the reason for it. What would it have been like if they were still together? The one bed wouldn’t have been a problem that’s for sure and she probably would have slept better without having to worry about not touching Clarke. Lexa sighs and rolls over, one hand spreading across the other side of the bed. She switches to her back again and closes her eyes trying to will sleep to come.

 

It doesn’t and she tosses and turns for a good three hours before she gives up trying. The other side of the bed tips not long after that and Lexa stops herself from looking over.

 

“Couch is shit.” Clarke offers in explanation knowing Lexa was awake.

 

Lexa doesn’t move after that, not wanting to disturb Clarke more. She tries counting backwards from one hundred, but that just seems to wake her up more.

 

“did you mean it?” comes Clarkes quiet voice, Lexa does turn then, but Clarke isn’t looking at her. “was is the wrong decision?”

 

“Yes” Lexa admits without needing to think about it. She hears Clarke release a shaky breath and then watches her nod, more to herself than Lexa.

 

“Okay.”

 

Lexa thinks that’s the end of the- was it a conversation? She’d gladly forego sleeping if it meant working things out with Clarke, but she’s not sure if that’s what Clarke wants.

 

After another twenty minutes of silence Lexa thinks Clarke is asleep, but then the bed shifts and suddenly Clarkes head is on her chest and a hand is clenched in her shirt. She thinks she feels Clarke shake lightly and she doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around her. It’s a feeling she’s missed and a feeling she’d do anything to have again.

She tightens her hold.

**Author's Note:**

> There was going to be smut in it and then I was like "you've never written smut before what are you thinking??" so I reworked it with the possibility of coming back to it if I change my mind...
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> tumblr: coneheda


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